Okay, right now, I am finding it hard not to care about whether what I write is worthy of my own doing. With the entrance of summer comes the entrance of addiction and I'm finding it hard to find time for writing. Yes, let the world shoot burning arrows at me and stare me down with their dagger eyes. As I have mentioned, I'm finding it hard not to care. I'm still a writer and I feel like everything I write is supposed to turn out good. That is, if I write anything at all.
I feel so umproductive lately and the computer is doing its very best to help by being incredibly fast and alloting an average of three hours before a one hour video is loaded. It just loves me.
Don't get me wrong. I haven't begun to dislike summer. I can never do that...Okay, so the heat sucks but I'm trying to live with it. By my own stupidity, I'm beginning to hate myself for not thinking this all out properly. I took on too much that my head spins everytime I fall asleep. Summer is puting on a good show of readying me for third year...it's keeping me as busy as I was in second year. ><
See, now, I'm being redundant...it's like cramming session all over again...I know I'm not making any sense and it's probably the heat and the addiction getting to me but this is my ranting stage right now and it's a good way of passing time while waiting for yet another thing to load. It's just really hard to explain and -I reiterate- as a writer, I just can't accept that I can't explain it. It's stupid of me to think that I can explain everything but it's worth a shot. By the way, this is just me talking, not all writers, fangirls and bloggers are like this.
Okay, as a desperate attempt at organization I shall recount what the rest of this summer might bring because I live in fear of reliving what it has already brought.
Number one...Hopefully I will finish everything on my summer reading/watching list.
Number two...I shall take on yet more as a summer student.
-number whatever, I'll end up killing my brother-
Number three...I'm getting a summer job.
That's mostly it and I'm too hurried to elaborate right now. This is one of this accounts exclusives, which is the only word that came to mind meaning this won't be pasted in my devArt acount.
-is off once more-
29.3.08
17.3.08
Celebrating a True Summer's Day
This is what my life was made for. I have never loved summer but these moments when I randomly type away are what makes my life mine. In short, I am very much enjoying summer ^__^
Nya, I'm trying to resurrect my creativity and whatnot which seems to be running dry lately. -or as Francisco Balagtas would say, 'my Muse is gone' XD Nya, no matter how twisted this sounds, I miss being an F and L propsdude >M<- I read over last year's Creative Writing book -Writing Down My Voice- and I am ready to announce that you all must prepare yourselves for another disappointment. I plan to write a more decent entry for each category in the book. I am admitting it: I didn't pass half of the requirements last year. No need to punish me, I think I got my share of karma, having only one heavily-edited printing errored entry get publiished. Anyway, like I mentioned, I dare you to get your hopes up ><
The three days haven't exactly blown by though and I have a feeling that Shaniqua's Summer 08 would be a long one, full of 'when-can-I-get-back's and 'I-miss-them's. Haha, as hard as it is to imagine, I actually miss this year's classmates. -Well, admittedly, not all, but a lot. Last year, I missed only like four people 0_o I had a nice summer last year- Next year, I am off to be the at the wrong end of conversations concerning the rich and the famous. Wow, I can hardly wait T__T -sudden burst of ranty angst: I am not kidding. When I got the effin letter, it was 'don't forget me when you're rich and famous' and 'wow, that just proves your smartness.' Damn, what happened to 'Good luck, you're gonna need it'? *will stop ranting here*-
Anyway, so far, my foot has been better and I can walk and go joyriding the stairs again like the rest of humanity. I also have lost the excuse to stay behind on the trip to Vigan. It's not that I don't want to go; it's that I feel like I'm being unholy yet again. We already left for Pangasinan last year. I just don't like the idea of going away on Holy Week -Lord, who is this saint?- Anyway, and it's no secret that I just 'adore' my mother's side of the family. Note quotation marks... Oh, and I am not bringing MY chair along. I bought it for 2K. Sure that might not be much but for a really cheap person like me, who saved 6K for my whole sophomore year, I refuse to resign a third of my money to the offspring of incapable providers. Damn, they should learn how to save for their own kids. I love that chair and I repeat, I will NOT bring it along.
That's pretty much all that I have to rant while waiting for Hana Kimi to load :D Yes, my new summer addiction -is watching the Jap version, not the Taiwan version to be shown on ABS- If I dare explain, I shall end up fangirly and hyper and it's not right to be like that at 10AM. Seriously, I was singing the ending theme when I woke up XD
Hope you all have a cowfucking summer ^__^
PS. I will not be online from the night 19.03.08 until sometime on 22.03.08...unless I find internet access in Vigan...which will be spent watching Hana Kimi so,,,yeah XD
Nya, I'm trying to resurrect my creativity and whatnot which seems to be running dry lately. -or as Francisco Balagtas would say, 'my Muse is gone' XD Nya, no matter how twisted this sounds, I miss being an F and L propsdude >M<- I read over last year's Creative Writing book -Writing Down My Voice- and I am ready to announce that you all must prepare yourselves for another disappointment. I plan to write a more decent entry for each category in the book. I am admitting it: I didn't pass half of the requirements last year. No need to punish me, I think I got my share of karma, having only one heavily-edited printing errored entry get publiished. Anyway, like I mentioned, I dare you to get your hopes up ><
The three days haven't exactly blown by though and I have a feeling that Shaniqua's Summer 08 would be a long one, full of 'when-can-I-get-back's and 'I-miss-them's. Haha, as hard as it is to imagine, I actually miss this year's classmates. -Well, admittedly, not all, but a lot. Last year, I missed only like four people 0_o I had a nice summer last year- Next year, I am off to be the at the wrong end of conversations concerning the rich and the famous. Wow, I can hardly wait T__T -sudden burst of ranty angst: I am not kidding. When I got the effin letter, it was 'don't forget me when you're rich and famous' and 'wow, that just proves your smartness.' Damn, what happened to 'Good luck, you're gonna need it'? *will stop ranting here*-
Anyway, so far, my foot has been better and I can walk and go joyriding the stairs again like the rest of humanity. I also have lost the excuse to stay behind on the trip to Vigan. It's not that I don't want to go; it's that I feel like I'm being unholy yet again. We already left for Pangasinan last year. I just don't like the idea of going away on Holy Week -Lord, who is this saint?- Anyway, and it's no secret that I just 'adore' my mother's side of the family. Note quotation marks... Oh, and I am not bringing MY chair along. I bought it for 2K. Sure that might not be much but for a really cheap person like me, who saved 6K for my whole sophomore year, I refuse to resign a third of my money to the offspring of incapable providers. Damn, they should learn how to save for their own kids. I love that chair and I repeat, I will NOT bring it along.
That's pretty much all that I have to rant while waiting for Hana Kimi to load :D Yes, my new summer addiction -is watching the Jap version, not the Taiwan version to be shown on ABS- If I dare explain, I shall end up fangirly and hyper and it's not right to be like that at 10AM. Seriously, I was singing the ending theme when I woke up XD
Hope you all have a cowfucking summer ^__^
PS. I will not be online from the night 19.03.08 until sometime on 22.03.08...unless I find internet access in Vigan...which will be spent watching Hana Kimi so,,,yeah XD
13.3.08
It's Not So Bad Because It Was The Best Day of My life
Continuation from other journal. haha, here's me thanking all of you, in no particular order, in no particular sense...I just feel like it XD
Note: Title care of my recent LSS...Dido: Thank You
Thank you Kitty for promising to shorten her skirt and for passing DD so I won't be all alone.
Thanks to Shing for talking to me on that first day and for being such a born leader that she helped save every group project she's ever been in.
Thank you to Valerie for all her yaoi mangas and for that Bio handout that helped me with the coloring part in the test.
Thanks to Mara for being the first person to come to our house and for intrioducing HanaKimi to me.
Thanks to Kate who was a sadist and enjoyed my tears and for sharing my low EQness.
Thanks to Ichie who stayed up with me while I was doing my Kakashi post-Christmas tags that got erased when the computer was reformatted and for being the only fan of my works XD
Thanks to Zaffy for literally opening the door and for being an amazing Sultan Ali-Adab and making all the remixed videos.
Thank you Aimee for finishing our Journ thingy almost on your own without Photoshop and for being an awesome seatmate.
Thanks to Nea for being a Simple Plan addict and for writing me the lyrics of Just the Girl.
Thank you Pat for being awesome enough to read an awesome excerpt and for taking Manong Ryan's notebook home :D
Thank you Esther for being my mathmate XD
-God, so many people to thank, so little attention span...to be completed when I feel like it...In the meantime, share my LSS ^__^-
My tea's gone cold and I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I cant see at all
And even if I could, it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you call me and its not so bad
And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last
I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me
And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life
Note: Title care of my recent LSS...Dido: Thank You
Thank you Kitty for promising to shorten her skirt and for passing DD so I won't be all alone.
Thanks to Shing for talking to me on that first day and for being such a born leader that she helped save every group project she's ever been in.
Thank you to Valerie for all her yaoi mangas and for that Bio handout that helped me with the coloring part in the test.
Thanks to Mara for being the first person to come to our house and for intrioducing HanaKimi to me.
Thanks to Kate who was a sadist and enjoyed my tears and for sharing my low EQness.
Thanks to Ichie who stayed up with me while I was doing my Kakashi post-Christmas tags that got erased when the computer was reformatted and for being the only fan of my works XD
Thanks to Zaffy for literally opening the door and for being an amazing Sultan Ali-Adab and making all the remixed videos.
Thank you Aimee for finishing our Journ thingy almost on your own without Photoshop and for being an awesome seatmate.
Thanks to Nea for being a Simple Plan addict and for writing me the lyrics of Just the Girl.
Thank you Pat for being awesome enough to read an awesome excerpt and for taking Manong Ryan's notebook home :D
Thank you Esther for being my mathmate XD
-God, so many people to thank, so little attention span...to be completed when I feel like it...In the meantime, share my LSS ^__^-
My tea's gone cold and I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I cant see at all
And even if I could, it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you call me and its not so bad
And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last
I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me
And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life
Free Falling into Summer
I know that by saying this out loud -uhm, typing it out...here...><- I am admitting to the world that I lied and that I am also invoking the muchly unwanted praise and curse words galore but right now, I don't really care. Though I may regret saying this later, I found the BIOLOGY final -dare I say for fear of jinxing- not that hard. I thank the Lord for Valerie's perfect score handout.
Letter to Mrs. Kupang: "Summer is rising in me/ Two more tests and I'll be free"
Letter to Ms. Baccay: "AGH! PRAISE GOD! TAPOS NAAA!!"
That's basically what happened today. Despite everyone going all nuts about not studying and all, I was the one who was mentally sending everyone 'hurry-up-dammit-you're-delaying-summer' signals. I really could not care less at this moment about the test results and other such cowcrap. I was anticipating summer the whole time and I probably will fail two out of the four subjects that I was tested on today. Distraction rocks when you're thinking about summer.
I wasn't distracted in the spaces between the tests though. The spaces between, the cornerstones of the final days...now those need my full attention. They're so full of information and life facts; I learned a new word: cowfuck. I will not explain for fear of offending people...Moving on...I also spent time in the place...in front of the retreat house...at the side of the old annex...I don't have a name for that place, mmk? ><>
Anyway, that's basically it. Oh and did I forget to mention that I fell down the stairs. -chill, it was only two steps XD- SInce now, I'm too lazy to type the whole story up, I'd like to thank people just because I feel like it and that's the cliche last day rule, right? :D Random thanking ranting in the other post because I seem to love everyone too much to make them fit in this one.
A final note: I can never do taekwondo..-cautiously pokes foot-
Letter to Mrs. Kupang: "Summer is rising in me/ Two more tests and I'll be free"
Letter to Ms. Baccay: "AGH! PRAISE GOD! TAPOS NAAA!!"
That's basically what happened today. Despite everyone going all nuts about not studying and all, I was the one who was mentally sending everyone 'hurry-up-dammit-you're-delaying-summer' signals. I really could not care less at this moment about the test results and other such cowcrap. I was anticipating summer the whole time and I probably will fail two out of the four subjects that I was tested on today. Distraction rocks when you're thinking about summer.
I wasn't distracted in the spaces between the tests though. The spaces between, the cornerstones of the final days...now those need my full attention. They're so full of information and life facts; I learned a new word: cowfuck. I will not explain for fear of offending people...Moving on...I also spent time in the place...in front of the retreat house...at the side of the old annex...I don't have a name for that place, mmk? ><>
Anyway, that's basically it. Oh and did I forget to mention that I fell down the stairs. -chill, it was only two steps XD- SInce now, I'm too lazy to type the whole story up, I'd like to thank people just because I feel like it and that's the cliche last day rule, right? :D Random thanking ranting in the other post because I seem to love everyone too much to make them fit in this one.
A final note: I can never do taekwondo..-cautiously pokes foot-
9.3.08
Without Cake, Life is Like the School Entering Summer
It is the day before Monday and the wretchedness of it all is has just begun to seep into my skin...I refuse to enumerate the various clearance requirements that I have not submitted, recall the amount of money I have wasted or imagine how my Journalism partner is doing right now.
It is Sunday and I have gone yet all schizo again because of stuff that need not be proclaimed over the Internet. I have reached the point wherein schizophrenia is not enough to describe me and thus, I have searched 'bipolarity' on Wikipedia. All I remember now is that those who have had the disorder include a lot of creative geniuses, people who attempted suicide and maniacs -people who have chattery speech patterns and LACK OF SLEEP- Obviously, I am some species of bipolar victim that has not been discovered. I feel so special.
It is two days before the day I become as old as the freshmen in my Creative Writing GIFT class. My mom asked me what flavor the Red Ribbon rolls should be. I said that I didn't want her to buy anything for the class. She asked why. I said I really didn't want anyone to get anything. She asked about my friends. I said that this celebration is a competition and my friends chances of winning...well...End of conversation. No cake.
--Must watch pirated Enchanted DVD, bye now--
It is Sunday and I have gone yet all schizo again because of stuff that need not be proclaimed over the Internet. I have reached the point wherein schizophrenia is not enough to describe me and thus, I have searched 'bipolarity' on Wikipedia. All I remember now is that those who have had the disorder include a lot of creative geniuses, people who attempted suicide and maniacs -people who have chattery speech patterns and LACK OF SLEEP- Obviously, I am some species of bipolar victim that has not been discovered. I feel so special.
It is two days before the day I become as old as the freshmen in my Creative Writing GIFT class. My mom asked me what flavor the Red Ribbon rolls should be. I said that I didn't want her to buy anything for the class. She asked why. I said I really didn't want anyone to get anything. She asked about my friends. I said that this celebration is a competition and my friends chances of winning...well...End of conversation. No cake.
--Must watch pirated Enchanted DVD, bye now--
1.3.08
Typing on the Piano
I miss the keyboard ^__^ I guess this is what watching something entitled 'Piano no Mori' --The Piano Forest-- and letting three days worth of events pile up in my memory gets me...
Anyway, I obviously haven't been updating lately because of all the most annoying reasons. School is being suckish as usual but as the days pass by, summer is hiding underneath the grey clouds. I like that kind of summer, the kind that doesn't really like showing its face and comes when it's supposed to come: when everything's over. Needless to say, it's not over yet. I have a dozen things to do and I'm just outright irresponsible XD I refuse to enumerate them because they're on my whiteboard and I see them every effin time I enter the room, no need to put them here.
On the good side, Florante at Laura is --FINALLY-- over. After three extra hours at school, numerous bonding sessions over paint-streaked surfaces and a fallen tree, it's done. It actually turned out better than I hoped since I was really half thinking that it would all explode in a series of unfortunate cluelessness. Actually, I can't believe how much life has been kind to us these past few days. I went home last Wednesday to find out that the Creative Writing final paper deadline was moved to Monday --postponed dealines: a procrastinator's salvation--
Also, we had our last GIFT session without really even knowing it. At least Miss Bianca got to say her sayonara. In my opinion, the most beautiful words she said were the ones she said two days ago: "Live and write about it." She said something about how life is supposed to be felt and that most people don't even know that they're not feeling anything. She said that writing is a way to let those people know how much they're missing and for us to value how much we're actually doing. --Okay, so maybe I read between the lines...but I'm a writer and that's what I do :D-- I feel sorry for those who slept through it and happy that I didn't ^__^
Okay, so as of now, my clearance isn't signed yet because of that final paper and the litjourn thing --which I damn to hell because it has 'JOURN' in it-- And my hopes of submitting it next Thursday were crushed yet again by the man behind all that --I refuse to elaborate because I feel like he'll read this ><>
A lot of people didn't go to class yesterday and as was mentioned, unfortunately I wasn't one of them. I swear, yesterday was my emotime. No questions asked, mmk?
And so I end ranting and resume procrastinating here. The first of the many stories of my life.
PS. Advertisement: behindinfinity and the rest of the Tuxedo Team are planning on making a cosplay photobook and to sell some of their costumes for charity. Please support them because not only are they amazing cosplayers. they're people who want to help in their own way. --Oh, and these dudes don't know that I'm linking them XD--
Anyway, I obviously haven't been updating lately because of all the most annoying reasons. School is being suckish as usual but as the days pass by, summer is hiding underneath the grey clouds. I like that kind of summer, the kind that doesn't really like showing its face and comes when it's supposed to come: when everything's over. Needless to say, it's not over yet. I have a dozen things to do and I'm just outright irresponsible XD I refuse to enumerate them because they're on my whiteboard and I see them every effin time I enter the room, no need to put them here.
On the good side, Florante at Laura is --FINALLY-- over. After three extra hours at school, numerous bonding sessions over paint-streaked surfaces and a fallen tree, it's done. It actually turned out better than I hoped since I was really half thinking that it would all explode in a series of unfortunate cluelessness. Actually, I can't believe how much life has been kind to us these past few days. I went home last Wednesday to find out that the Creative Writing final paper deadline was moved to Monday --postponed dealines: a procrastinator's salvation--
Also, we had our last GIFT session without really even knowing it. At least Miss Bianca got to say her sayonara. In my opinion, the most beautiful words she said were the ones she said two days ago: "Live and write about it." She said something about how life is supposed to be felt and that most people don't even know that they're not feeling anything. She said that writing is a way to let those people know how much they're missing and for us to value how much we're actually doing. --Okay, so maybe I read between the lines...but I'm a writer and that's what I do :D-- I feel sorry for those who slept through it and happy that I didn't ^__^
Okay, so as of now, my clearance isn't signed yet because of that final paper and the litjourn thing --which I damn to hell because it has 'JOURN' in it-- And my hopes of submitting it next Thursday were crushed yet again by the man behind all that --I refuse to elaborate because I feel like he'll read this ><>
A lot of people didn't go to class yesterday and as was mentioned, unfortunately I wasn't one of them. I swear, yesterday was my emotime. No questions asked, mmk?
And so I end ranting and resume procrastinating here. The first of the many stories of my life.
PS. Advertisement: behindinfinity and the rest of the Tuxedo Team are planning on making a cosplay photobook and to sell some of their costumes for charity. Please support them because not only are they amazing cosplayers. they're people who want to help in their own way. --Oh, and these dudes don't know that I'm linking them XD--
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